Right mindset while combining motherhood and islamic studies – by Aida Melisa Özgül

The Strong Mind of a Mother and Student

A reminder to all my fellow students and mothers… and to myself.

While being a student as well as being a mother can at times be exhausting and challenging the by far greater challenge lies in combining those two roles successfully.

Both are time consuming and both are tasks that seek our full attention and effort.

Time and energy are limited resources and sometimes all of our different responsibilities and tasks seem quite overwhelming.

We find ourselves struggling to “Do it all” and we might wonder whether we have to decide between studying and motherhood. And if so… which one is more important?

We might even have toxic thoughts crossing our minds such as “My children are holding me back from learning my religion”.

This is where we need to take it upon ourselves and change our mindset. Ultimately, it is our own choice whether we will complain about our circumstances and let them determine if we achieve something or build a mindset that is founded on thankfulness and determination.

We cannot let our minds play games with us. The way we think is the foundation for how we feel, and it leads our day to day lives.

Now, as students of the Quran will know the Quran is something which if you invest your time and effort into it, Allah will bless your time and it will become easy on you. This means that Allah makes its recitation and memorization easy for the one who engages in it. He swt says:

وَلَقَدْ يَسَّرْنَا ٱلْقُرْءَانَ لِلذِّكْرِ فَهَلْ مِن مُّدَّكِرٍۢ

And We have certainly made the Quran easy to remember. So is there anyone who will be mindful?

And this is in fact such a beautiful way in which Allah comforts us while at the same time encouraging us to engage in Ibadah. Basically, this is saying. Don’t occupy your mind with worries and let them drag you away from acting. Do your part and Allah will be your Helper.

The next thing we need to remember in order to have a healthy mindset is that motherhood is Ibadah. Our prophet Muhammad has explained to us that “The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended.” (Sahih al Bukhari)

So, if we constantly renew our intentions and perform every act in our daily lives for the pleasure of Allah all of this will be Ibadah. If we serve our husbands and children intending to be obedient wives and caring mothers who raise the next generation of Allah’s servants how could this possibly be holding us back from religion? In fact, we need to put our families first as this is our primary obligation as women.

Think of it like this. In the same way we do not leave Adhkar because it keeps us from reciting the Quran or vice versa we cannot say that raising our children will hold us back from learning. The goal is to find balance.

Instead of seeing our children as obstacles or our learning as a burden in between all the other tasks of motherhood, we could view our children as the first possibility to hand down the knowledge that we acquire. Finding thankfulness in everything is bliss.

And lastly, never belittle what you have achieved. Allah says:

فَمَن يَعْمَلْ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ خَيْرًۭا يَرَهُ

So whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it.

So, anything that you learn any verse that you memorize any reminder that you take to heart is one step forward. Allah sees your effort and He does not forget. The key is not to get discouraged and never lose track. After all, we know that every success comes from Allah. Knowing this alone should be sufficient to build a strong mindset, because it means that if we are truthful in our intentions and give our best as mothers as well as students, Allah will surely help us succeed.